Bae bae, I love my children higher than the clouds and deeper than the ocean. But, being a stay-at-home mom is, for lack of better words, an acquired taste.
Stay-At-Home Mom: The Good
I’ll start with the advantages. I get to focus on my children full-time and cherish every precious moment with them. Staying home allows for increased flexibility. There is also a sense of security, attachment, closeness, and trust that I developed with my kids, which is truly invaluable. It is an amazing role, which I am blessed to have. I wouldn’t trade it in for anything.
But, it is a role that doesn’t entirely define me.
That, right there, is what I struggle with. The thought of allowing something that doesn’t entirely define me to become all that I am.
Stay-At-Home Mom: The Bad
I don’t even remember what a 9 to 5 looks like. As a stay-at-home mom, the only shift I have is 24/7. My job literally starts from when I open my eyes to when I close my eyes. And even when my eyes are closed, I am still on call.
I am one person, who performs the job of many. Physically, I am exhausted; but mentally, forget about it. Between my never-ending re-do list and the constant need of having to remember everything, my mental load is overloaded and my exhaustion is exhausted.
Stay-At-Home Mom: The Ugly
I’ve heard “I don’t work,” “I need a job,” and my personal favorite, “stop being lazy and find a real job.”
What makes me lazy?
The fact that the house remains messy after I constantly re-do chore after chore after chore. The fact that I am still in my PJs with a messy bun; meanwhile, I have been holding my pee all day just to constantly supervise, comfort, teach, re-direct, and feed kids with bottomless appetites and “no-doesn’t-apply-to-me” attitudes.
The fact that I am talking on the phone, even though, I am still maintaining the household, loading and unloading laundry, cleaning, changing diapers, sweeping, vacuuming, and shushing screaming kids in the background. Or, the fact that I cook quick meals although I am running back and forth keeping an eye on 1, 2, 3 kids, while trying to find time for me to eat just one meal, which hopefully isn’t cold.
Being a stay-at-home is not for the lazy. It is sacrifice and it is work, hard work.
It is a demanding role that can sometimes contribute to the loss of one’s sense of accomplishment as well as one’s sense of self. Staying at home with children can be lonely, isolating, and unfulfilling.
I don’t earn compensation. Neither do I have days off, personal days, sick days, vacation days, lunch breaks, bathroom breaks, or set schedules. It can feel a tad bit overwhelming at times.
So, if you’re reading this, chances are you are either considering being a stay-at-home mom, you are already a stay-at-home mom, you are just looking for a viewpoint that may differ from your own, or you’re just plain old nosy.
Regardless, your experience with being a stay-at-home mom can differ according to the amount of support you have, the number of kids you have, and the ages of your children.
The truth is, being a stay-at-home mom can be the best job in the whole wide world and the toughest job in the whole wide world, all at the same time. It is not for everyone.
This post is very enlightening. I did not realize how much a,”Stay-At-Home Mom” does. I always elected to go out the house to work. Based on your confession, I am so happy I did. Kudos and thank you to the mother’s who are home.
Lol, thank you.
You are an amazing woman and applaud you for taking on the role that you have. Keep up the great work.
Thank you so much! I appreciate it.
I relate to this 100%! Exhausting and trying but at the same time, a privilege 🙂 💗
Yes, exactly. Thank you!