The #1 Question Mothers Ask: Am I A Good Mother?

“Are you a good mother?” “Am I a good mother?”

There isn’t any mother, who doesn’t allow this thought to slip into her head at least once, no matter how much she does for her child. I am any mother. You are any mother. You are not alone.

This question may come from a struggle to balance work and family life, guilt from being impregnated by the wrong man, mental health issues, etc. Then the additional pressure of our family, friends, media, community, and society as a whole of what a mother should look like, have, or be definitely doesn’t help.

95% of mothering is spent redoing, repeating, and remembering, while the remaining 5% is left rethinking…EVERYTHING.

“Does my child eat enough fruit and vegetables? Is my child watching too much TV or playing too many video games? Am I feeding my child too much junk food? Is my child’s bedtime too late? Is my exhaustion, depression, and/or frustration negatively affecting my child? Am I spending enough time with my child? Am I spending too much time with my child? Do I educate my child enough? Should I pay for my child to go to a private school? Is my child in enough extracurricular activities? Should my child be in extracurricular activities? Do I fuss too much? How could I possibly have forgotten that deadline…”

The list goes on and on.

Being A Good Mother

Questioning our own parenting skills and the influence it has on our child is perfectly healthy. It’s our own way of challenging our limitations and acknowledging room for growth. Every mother should.

But, the method of questioning is equally as important. Some of us critique ourselves constructively as a means of improving ourselves. While others, destructively criticize themselves, leading to the development of insecurities they didn’t even know they had.

It’s fine to assess your limitations as long as you are also appraising your strengths. Aim to critique not criticize!

If your intentions are genuine, you are always going to have doubts. As a mother, you may never feel good enough or close enough to what you feel your child deserves.

You may never meet your own standards because perfection is impossible to reach.

So, do not let your doubts consume you! Limit your search inwards and set realistic expectations for yourself, instead of trying to measure up to the one-dimensional, highly curated, personified view that other mothers tend to portray.

If your child is well-nourished, cared for, consistently educated, sheltered, motivated, prioritized, and unconditionally loved then you are doing very well.

There will be no pity parties over here, Sis.

We all have bad days. In fact, some of us have bad weeks, months, or years. Thankfully, it takes more than just one bad moment to shape our child, especially if you strive to keep those moments few and far between.

There is no moral compass for being a mother. And mothering is definitely not for the faint of heart.

Remember, a lot of people are “perfect parents” until they actually have kids.

So adjust your crown. We get plenty of second chances called tomorrow. So let tomorrow be better than today.