Inez Co-parenting is not for the weak, let me tell you. Between trying to figure out which one of the parents the random sock belongs to, cleaning up the stain your child so conveniently made right before drop-off, hunting down the other parent for the assignment or permission slip that was left at their house, planning your entire day around a handoff time that the other parent doesn’t follow, experiencing the “oopsie” moment when your child repeats what they heard to the other parent, or even showing up to your child’s event with the same gift as the other parent. It can be chaotic, for sure.
But with time and effort from BOTH parents, it can and it shall get easier.
7 Tips for Effective Co-parenting
1. Keep Emotions in Check
Co-parenting is difficult enough, without added stress. To keep things from escalating, both parents must communicate peacefully and constructively. It’s important to be open and honest as it relates to the child. Both of you are raising your child together, so using that time to ask questions, provide feedback, or clarify expectations can contribute to a productive line of communication.
2. Put Your Child First
Effective co-parenting entails prioritizing your child’s needs and interests over your own. So, always act in your child’s best interest, even if it means taking a blow to your own ego. Encourage and support the love your child has for the other parent. If feasible and safe, even facilitate more time for your child to spend with the other parent.
3. Create a Parenting Plan
A parenting plan can include parenting time and custody schedules, financial arrangements, parental responsibilities, communication methods, and decision-making processes. Having a detailed parenting plan in place can eliminate some disagreements and provide clarity for all parties involved. It also allows for consistency and predictability in your child’s routine. If you don’t have one, create one ASAP!
4. Be Flexible
Life happens. As we all know, life can be extremely unpredictable. Some things may temporarily come up that couldn’t be planned for, such as medical emergencies or unexpected travel restrictions due to inclement weather. With unforeseen circumstances, it’s imperative to be adaptable. However, also establish and maintain boundaries. Plus, set consequences for any violation of those boundaries. Do not leave room for the other parent to take advantage of your flexibility because sometimes when you give an inch, they will take a mile.
5. Respect Each Other’s Parenting Style
I totally get it, Ladies. We like things done the way we like them done, periodt! But, both parents should give each other grace. No parenting style may be better than the other, it just may require some compromise. Now of course, if it’s harmful to the child’s well-being, definitely intervene. But, just know in general, if parents remain divided with parenting, your child will conquer. Just saying!
6. Don’t Involve Family or Friends
I can’t stress this enough. Not all advice is good or beneficial advice. A lot of advice is based on biases. Our loved ones mean well, but if it can lead to any type of distrust or undermine the co-parenting relationship you’re trying to build, it’s a no-go. What may work for one co-parenting relationship, may not work for another. Don’t allow anyone’s unsolicited advice to determine how you will co-parent.
7. Seek Professional Support
Seek objective guidance from a professional therapist, counselor, or mediator. Involving a neutral third party can help both of you learn how to communicate and resolve conflict in a healthier manner.
Above All
Remember to take it one day at a time. Co-parenting may be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Be empathetic to each other and always work toward finding a common ground. Be respectful and try to only communicate about the children. Do not rehash personal issues or past trauma. Co-parenting is a journey, not a destination. And, your child deserves both of your continued efforts!
